Preachers and podcasts I’ve been listening to lately, all have had a common agreement that there is a season where, after the original “joy of our salvation” wears down a bit, continuing the life of being a Christian feels stagnant. Where, we feel, not enough happens in the amount of time that slips by.
We ourselves become so excited about Christ and our new life, that we feel ready to jump head first into alllll the work God has for us. We’re ready to lead and volunteer and serve in any capacity. We think we see better (and we do), but it’s usually just enough for us to end up hurting ourselves and others due to our immaturity and inexperience.
So God wraps us in bubble wrap at first. He straps us down sometimes. The Bible says, “He hems us in on all sides.” He hits the slow motion in our lives. Most Christians have a good, long season of faith-without-fruit in the “post-honeymoon” phase of living for Jesus. Where every bit of our effort to do something for God just kind of comes to a slow crawl. It’s wholeheartedly, a frustrating season but I’m really beginning to understand why He puts the breaks on our ambition. And I don’t mind a bit to just wait it out.
There have been some pretty big moments of revelation for me over this journey. Epiphanies. Moments where, suddenly I see just a tad bit different. Moments where I’ve been super glad it was on a smaller scale and that I was not able to do any real damage due to oversight from inexperience.
I’d rather lose two hundred bucks on a bad investment than two hundred thousand on something bigger. Right? I’d rather fail with a small business startup, that I learn from, than lose way too much after being handed a million dollar company I was too immature for. It’s just better to fail early, and often. Cause then, once I make it big, I’ll be stronger, wise enough to succeed. And then, even when (not if) I mess up, I am able to go through it correctly.
That’s why, wisdom, in Proverbs, is talked of so highly. Wisdom is worth way more than gold and diamonds, it says. It’s worth more than “success,” power, and riches. It says to seek understanding. That we should desire these things more than anything else we could get.
Why? Because without wisdom, everything else will most likely be squandered, unappreciated…even dangerous.
There is a tripod of virtue, mentioned over and over in Proverbs. These three really are the basis for any sort of success in life and it’s literally how God crafted our entire history.
Wisdom, knowledge and understanding.
These three are quite different, but they are all entirely important. The absence of one or more of these could lead to complete confusion and/or disaster.
Here’s my theory-
Knowledge says: “That looks sharp.”
Understanding says: “It will cut me.”
Wisdom says: “I will not touch it.”
Somewhere along my journey to return to my family, I realized that I needed to pursue wisdom and self-control over anything else that I wanted, including my Bride, and my return. I knew that If I could not learn self-control, then no matter what I would attain, would be wasted, squandered, and abused.
So I began making myself do the things I didn’t want to do. My neighbor would leave their laundry in the machines we shared at the time, in the city apartment I stayed in. At first I had to endeavor to fold it every time. But over time, I became less and less dogged about showing them love by folding their laundry, as it became a very, regular thing. I did remain kind in how I handled their clothes and I remained loving about it, but I did eventually run out of drive for the cause and finally began piling up most of their laundry on top of the dryer.
Now, that was a small victory for me. In the past, it would have been a daily, constant fight that would eventually have become toxic. The relationship would have been harmed and life there, would have probably been unbearable. Though, I still did not go as far as to fold each one of their linens over the 7 months we were neighbors, we remained friends, despite the consistent inconvenience.
Now, imagine me not pursuing any self-control….but still returning to my family.
What if the laundry was a big enough battle to cause strife? What if I didn’t run after virtues that are teaching me to become a more mature person? Without the wisdom (and practice) to make good decisions, I would most likely lose the privilege to live with my family. My Bride would not have been wise in returning to me. And to fail in this stage, would be huge. I’d possibly lose everything. Again. Permanently.
My dad raised me to read a chapter of Proverbs, daily. So upon waking to the Word after the 20 year bender, I returned to reading it, almost everyday.
Proverbs 9:10 says “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”
I’m learning a lot from Proverbs. It’s in the epiphanies though, where it all clicks. And in those moments, usually it’s realizing how dumb I’ve been, or how completely blind I was. It’s the moments where, if I did have all I thought I was ready for, the temptations would be much too much for me to handle.
Yep, I’m okay with slow.
I reeeelly want to do more. And I am. Not many see it. But that’s fine. Preferred even. Cause I’m only ten seconds from making a stupid decision at any given point. I’ll just get the falls and missteps out of the way, in training, before it matters way too much.
The neat part is, I see the roots growing. I see a foundation of truth and good fruit, growing where no one can see. Everyday. Every moment. I look to water with love. And I’m seeing a web form, of my past, in integrity, in truth, and in love. I no longer look back and see only foolish decisions.
I like what God is doing with my life. The inside.
I like me. And I’m a long way from where I used to be.
Let’s take it slow. I’m okay with that.
I leave you with these words from the New Living Translation: “The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”
That’s from the second book of the Bible, Exodus 14:14.
Moses is telling the people that God is going to show up. He’s expressing to them to keep our sight on God. “Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today,” he previously stated
Be still. Wait… Patience… Give it time…
Ugh. We’re not a type of people who enjoy those words. We like to do it ourselves. It gives us…’value.’ And we don’t like to wait.
Let God do it and stop worrying. But really, let Him do it.
And go take a bath and relax or something because, in time, when God opens the windows of heaven, you’re going to be busy.
Thanks for reading.
–Home–
From Death to Life 
Leave a comment