There is an intangible force that takes its toll on the things in this world. It’s the gradual decline of affection toward new things or things once hoped for. The moment a desirable thing or circumstance is attained, the perceived quality of it begins to wane and, over time, not only recedes to nothing, but eventually its attributes, which were once coveted, become a source of animosity.
I’ve coined the term; “Endearment Decay”
Proverbs 27:20 says;
“Death and destruction are never satisfied and neither are human eyes.”
I have this theory, based on the words of the Bible, and my own personal experience and observation…
I believe our eyes are broken.
This is speaking in spiritual terms, though.
Our “mind’s eye.”
There was a movie I saw recently, in theater, when I lived in the ministry last summer. The animated movie was mostly based on the events inside the head of a little girl. One scene portrays the idea of our “stream of thought.” As the little girl tasted something funny, her thought process produced items in the stream that came to her mind.
This was a good way to illustrate the way our brains work. Our reasoning. Our imagination. C. S. Lewis discusses this in his book ‘Mere Christianity’ when he speaks of communication and the effects our imagination has on it.
‘Imagination’ is the key word. It’s the grounds for ‘interpretation.’ It’s how our ‘stream of thought’ is fed, and it’s where, inside our heads, we see ideas and thoughts made into pictures in which we can more thoroughly understand what it is we are attempting to make sense of, if only we have the correct information to interpret into the correct picture.
The problem is, the product… the thing our imagination creates… the pictures that end up in our stream of thought are not only affected by our limited knowledge of the world around us, our own experiences and observances, but also our emotions and ‘opinions.’
Our opinions are 100% selfish. At least until we decide that we will not have them be. This is what the Bible talks about when it mentions “the flesh.” It must be an entirely intentional fight to keep our opinions from being about us and what we would prefer.
Here is an excerpt from George MacDonald’s ‘Lilith’; The character here is longing for companionship as he has now spent an uncomfortable amount of time completely alone.
“If only I had a dog to love!” I sighed– and regarded with wonder my past self, which preferred the company of book or pen to that of a man or woman; which, if the author of a tale I was enjoying appeared, would wish him away that I might return to his story. I had chosen the dead rather than the living, the thing thought rather than the thing thinking!”
Perspective. When things change, we long for what we once had and often wish that we had longed for them while we still had them!
So if we make anything else ‘our perfect’, our lives cannot be perfect without that thing, and even in obtaining it, it’s perfection ends up being missed.
Our desires cannot be satisfied.
“The leech has two daughters,” Proverbs 30 describes. “Give, give they cry.”
I noticed all of my projects continually demanding more money, more time, more study. And when Brittany met with me the first time, even in the meeting, I desired a kiss, to hold her hand, a hug. Now, I live with her. She loves me. I am in my kid’s company daily as I wake and as I go to bed, and there is something in me that remains unsatisfied.
So, I put these thoughts together.
For you cannot make an unhappy man happy, unless he chooses to let go of his own unhappiness.
But God’s Word instructs that He gives us our desires. And that only He can satisfy. So, we get what we want from Him, as we keep our wanting in Him, and we will remain satisfied.
We must become aware of endearment decay. And we must also be aware that it is our own heart that can choose to be or not to be happy in what we have.
Paul says he learned to be content in all things.
(Philippians 4:11-13)
In verse 13 he says “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” Meaning, remaining content, even when it appears we do not have all that we believe we want.
So here I sit. Looking to God for more, continuously, but being happy that He knows best, and that He will “never leave me, nor forsake me.” He says this in Hebrews 13, just after instructing us to keep our lives free from the love of money, the incessant need for more.
Our eyes are broken, in that they drift toward the negative. Our hearts are evil. We don’t want them to be, I mean, I believe we all would like for it to be easy to do the right thing and see hope and joy and the positive in all things, and just remain happy. But it’s not easy. We grow unhappy. What we have ends up not being enough. Endearment decay.
This is where we choose to be faithful in what we have been given. Like a plant that needs regular care, or a vehicle that takes oil changes, car washes and regular maintenance. Our positive attitude does not tend to remain positive without strengthening our positive attitude producing thoughts.
We cannot just take in any material we desire and produce the exact thing we need. Like a factory or a recipe, the end product is directly related to the original ingredients. Start with awful, dirty, cheap materials, the outcome will be, at best, second rate.
What are you putting in you? How are your correcting your fallible eyes?
Or are you just allowing endearment decay to overwhelm the good things in your life?
It takes time. It takes work.
We cannot plant an apple tree and, in the same moment, be discontented that it has not produced, for us, apples.
Patience and long-suffering is the only way to receive that which is worth receiving.
Proverbs 20:21 –
“An inheritance obtained too quickly will not be blessed in the end.”
I feel like I’m skimming the surface of an ocean, as this topic seems possible to branch off endlessly and it connects continuously to many, many other verses and subjects.
But what it comes down to is purposefully forcing our derelict brains to focus on the positive things in all situations, even when we become calloused by the negatives in the same situation. Everything, everything, has its negatives. A knife is only good if it is sharp, even though its blade is what makes it dangerous. It would be quite the mistake to spend our lives trying to rid the knife of its danger and end up being unhappy that we cannot, also, safely cut up our fruit.
It is this way in all things. And it is our eyes that we must continue to train to understand this concept.
I will continue to see the positive in this wonderful family God has given me. And, even in times where I feel I cannot, I still know that it is there.
I hope this encourages you. Don’t give up on the great things you have.
I certainly will not.
What an amazing life.
What an amazing God.
Thanks again, for reading. Have a great week.
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